Edna...[Man, what do you even say in that situation? He's not sure he wants to offer sympathy since that doesn't seem like something she wants, but let's be real. That's kinda messed up. It's on the same level as Tadashi following Callaghan sorta messed up. Or living with Tadashi while knowing he'll never see him again when they leave.]
The illusions are just messing with us to try and kill us like the ghosts want. Pretty rotten trick...they're getting really good at masquerading as people we care about. [It raises a question though.] How long has your brother been a dragon?
[Even when the wind seraph isn't here...ice burn.gif
The actual question though, she'll answer in complete seriousness.]
He was one for hundreds of years. I couldn't really give you an exact number.
[Seraphim are long-lived beings, after all. And..."was". Just using the past tense pains her, but this is something she has to get over, so she can finally move on.]
[Yeah. He's pretty familiar with the word "was", too.]
…Mikleo told me you guys live for ages. [What a way to go.] But there's really no way for a seraph to come back? [Would she want him to come back? It's a little weird how he's so fixated on the subject, but he can't help it. He's curious and maybe it's helping him answer some things, too.]
[Edna wished with all her heart for him to come back normally, safe and sound, but as for Eizen himself? Probably not. He was the sort of seraph who would be utterly horrified by what he'd done in his madness.]
No. Once they're a dragon, there's no other way to save them besides killing them.
[Her throat tightens as she speaks those words, which make her want to clam up and say no more.
However, there's a reason she demanded that Sorey armatize with her to deliver the finishing blow. She took absolutely no joy in the act, but recognized that it had to be done, that the final nail in the coffin had to be hammered by her own fists in order to finally move on from everything. It was a fitting end, she thinks, and not admitting it would be the same as not facing reality. If there's one thing seraphim can't afford to do, it's not facing reality.]
...So that's what we did for him. It's what he wanted.
["When I become a dragon, kill me. I don't want Edna to suffer for it."]
[That had to be hard. Killing a monster and knowing they weren't always a monster but having to make the decision to lose someone you love to save other people.
Oh. Wait. He's been there. He regards her carefully, arms folding over his chest as he thinks before tilting his head down.]
I'm sorry. [It's finally said because there's nothing else he can say immediately.] I mean, yeah, it's what he wanted but it's still…[Hard. It's still hard. He debates for another moment before he shrugs, turning and gesturing for her to follow him off the bridge.] And anyway, sometimes it's weird when they come back.
[Away from the edge and off of the bridge, more likely. He pauses before he realizes there's no reason to lie to her. What's she going to do about it?]
What if I said I was? Would it make a difference to you?
[If something similar happened to him, she'd sympathize, even empathize, and have a new perspective on him.
But...she won't say those sorts of things out loud. It feels a bit like pitying, and maybe she's projecting, but Hiro doesn't seem like the type to want someone pitying him for his circumstances. In the end, it'll be up to Hiro to share whatever he wants.]
...Only if you'd want it to.
[That...sounds like the right words??? She's not sure. She's not good at this thing.]
[He's quiet as they walk, debating how to bring this up. Like Edna, Hiro doesn't think she's the type to want someone pitying her and he doesn't want to make it seem that way. But maybe he's also projecting a little. Maybe he just thinks that having someone to empathize with will help her the same way it might help him.
So. He takes a breath before cautiously proceeding.]
When I first showed up here, I wasn't really sure what to expect. But I definitely wasn't expecting my older brother to be waiting here for me. It's...been a little while since he died back home. [There's a short shrug.] We're still getting used to things around here again. I guess what I'm getting at is that I'd be kind of a huge hypocrite for blaming you for following what you thought was your own brother when I know I'd probably do exactly the same thing.
[She's silent for a moment, closing her eyes and listening, really listening, to what he's saying.]
I see. ...Older brothers really are the worst sometimes. Showing up again like that without an announcement.
[It's a jab to lighten the mood just a little before she continues on.]
Do you consider it a second chance?
[An odd question. Does it count as a "second chance" if things between them have already drastically changed? Are there things to make up, regrets to voice, mistakes to fix?]
I know right? [He's trying to make light of it since he gets that's how Edna functions. He can roll with that. It is an odd question, especially since there's so much left unsaid and fixed.] A second chance for him to live? Yeah, absolutely. He wasn't supposed to die, you know? I know seraphs live to be hundreds and hundreds of years old, but Tadashi was only 21.
[Not to mention the events surrounding his death were pretty bad.] On the other hand? Like I said, it's been months. Trying to fill him in on that lost time still isn't easy. But maybe it's a second chance to make sure it doesn't happen again.
Hey, you don't have to tell me twice. [Except for the part where he's avoiding telling Tadashi certain things and he wonders if maybe that would count as a regret. But that's something to dwell on in private later.]
...he's great. He's a total nerd and sometimes he tells really lame jokes and he has this weird overfondness for cardigans but he's my best friend. It's been just the two of us and my aunt since I was really little, so I guess we're kinda close. ["Kinda" in that for a while Hiro was pretty much glued to Tadashi. Down the steps and off the bridge and to solid land they go.] He's actually the one who made Baymax. I made his armor but the original programming and body were all Tadashi's work. I think even you'd have a hard time being mean to him.
[...] I never thought of it like that, but I don't think so? [Except now he's really wondering if that's the case.] I didn't really have much to do with him until after Tadashi died anyway. Now that we're here? I'm not sure he was ready to deal with both of us being a new team.
And don't let him hear you calling Baymax Baymallow. He might get insulted. [Which means by all means, please call him Baymallow to Tadashi's face.] It's a lot of work making sure he stays safe here now that he's got a second chance. Just gotta hope he thinks it's worth it.
[Something like that, but Hiro doesn't know that yet. Even without verbal confirmation he has to wonder.]
One of the first things he told me when I got here is that he wasn't supposed to be here. I don't know if he remembers saying that, but I didn't forget. You tell me.
[ She's silent for a moment, mulling over his words. ]
...It's hard to say. We aren't your brother, after all. Maybe he thinks that death isn't something to be tampered with. Bringing someone back from the dead is similar to tampering with forces of nature.
[ Which is why it was both a relief and yet somewhat of a cause for concern when Dezel also arrived here. ]
Maybe it isn't something to be tampered with, but if they tampered with it the first time who knows what else can be tampered with? [He's given some thought to the whole thing.] Do you think it's something that shouldn't be messed with?
[ The words roll off the tip of her tongue, weary yet practiced, but finally fully believed in. She hoists her umbrella to cover her face slightly. ]
A chance to redeem themselves [ Dezel, the human at the wind trial. ], to finally end their suffering [ Heldalf, Forton, Eizen. ], to save their pride [ Zaveid's companions. ], and so on. Who are we to take that from them? That's pretty arrogant.
[ ...That's only the rational part of her though (which is a large part of her, granted). ]
...But the selfish part of me says "no". And we're allowed to be a little selfish sometimes, aren't we?
[ The part of her that longs for those who are gone to come back. The part of her that is irrational and sensitive, no matter how much she hates it sometimes. Some deaths are simply unnecessary and meaningless, and she knows that. Others are incredibly necessary, including what she thinks will be her very own. ]
[He can agree with the rational parts. He actually firmly agrees that death could be salvation for some, but likewise he's equally selfish. Tadashi was never meant to die. His death wasn't a chance to redeem himself, it wasn't a chance to save pride or do any of those things.
It was a chance to help someone else, and that alone makes Hiro wish Tadashi had been a little selfish, too.]
In a way? I wish some people would be a little more selfish sometimes. You'd be surprised how being selfish could sometimes save a person. [They're back off the bridge and on solid ground now and he looks at her quietly, pondering all of that.] Don't let anybody convince you otherwise.
Somehow I have a feeling Sorey wouldn't really listen to me even if I tried. [He grins lightly, feeling slightly awkward from said-heart to heart.] You gonna be okay on your own now?
[ She really will be. This little talk has somehow managed to help her sort her feelings out just a teensy bit, and she secretly hopes that it'll allow Hiro to sort his own feelings out a bit. Call it sympathy, empathy, projection, whatever. ]
I'm only going to say this once, so listen up.
[ Of course, she'll hide her face with her umbrella when she says it. ]
...Thanks.
[ For saving her life. For not leaving her to be consumed by the ghost of the past. For opening up to her, of all people.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2016-01-04 01:16 am (UTC)No. I thought I was following a seraph.
[WHICH IS REALLY JUST WORSE IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT...]
I don't know what that...illusion wanted me to do. He didn't say anything after that.
[She's not sure if he's referring to ghost-masquerading as Eizen or actual pre-dragon Eizen.]
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Date: 2016-01-04 05:47 am (UTC)The illusions are just messing with us to try and kill us like the ghosts want. Pretty rotten trick...they're getting really good at masquerading as people we care about. [It raises a question though.] How long has your brother been a dragon?
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Date: 2016-01-05 06:19 am (UTC)[Even when the wind seraph isn't here...ice burn.gif
The actual question though, she'll answer in complete seriousness.]
He was one for hundreds of years. I couldn't really give you an exact number.
[Seraphim are long-lived beings, after all. And..."was". Just using the past tense pains her, but this is something she has to get over, so she can finally move on.]
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Date: 2016-01-05 07:54 pm (UTC)…Mikleo told me you guys live for ages. [What a way to go.] But there's really no way for a seraph to come back? [Would she want him to come back? It's a little weird how he's so fixated on the subject, but he can't help it. He's curious and maybe it's helping him answer some things, too.]
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Date: 2016-01-05 08:47 pm (UTC)No. Once they're a dragon, there's no other way to save them besides killing them.
[Her throat tightens as she speaks those words, which make her want to clam up and say no more.
However, there's a reason she demanded that Sorey armatize with her to deliver the finishing blow. She took absolutely no joy in the act, but recognized that it had to be done, that the final nail in the coffin had to be hammered by her own fists in order to finally move on from everything. It was a fitting end, she thinks, and not admitting it would be the same as not facing reality. If there's one thing seraphim can't afford to do, it's not facing reality.]
...So that's what we did for him. It's what he wanted.
["When I become a dragon, kill me. I don't want Edna to suffer for it."]
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Date: 2016-01-05 09:15 pm (UTC)Oh. Wait. He's been there. He regards her carefully, arms folding over his chest as he thinks before tilting his head down.]
I'm sorry. [It's finally said because there's nothing else he can say immediately.] I mean, yeah, it's what he wanted but it's still…[Hard. It's still hard. He debates for another moment before he shrugs, turning and gesturing for her to follow him off the bridge.] And anyway, sometimes it's weird when they come back.
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Date: 2016-01-09 06:05 am (UTC)[She follows along without much complaint; the farther away they get from the edge, the safer it is for the both of them.]
Are you speaking from experience?
[She's seen Dezel here, so it's not unfeasible.]
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Date: 2016-01-09 06:13 am (UTC)What if I said I was? Would it make a difference to you?
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Date: 2016-01-11 06:21 am (UTC)But...she won't say those sorts of things out loud. It feels a bit like pitying, and maybe she's projecting, but Hiro doesn't seem like the type to want someone pitying him for his circumstances. In the end, it'll be up to Hiro to share whatever he wants.]
...Only if you'd want it to.
[That...sounds like the right words??? She's not sure. She's not good at this thing.]
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Date: 2016-01-11 06:41 am (UTC)So. He takes a breath before cautiously proceeding.]
When I first showed up here, I wasn't really sure what to expect. But I definitely wasn't expecting my older brother to be waiting here for me. It's...been a little while since he died back home. [There's a short shrug.] We're still getting used to things around here again. I guess what I'm getting at is that I'd be kind of a huge hypocrite for blaming you for following what you thought was your own brother when I know I'd probably do exactly the same thing.
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Date: 2016-01-14 04:18 am (UTC)I see. ...Older brothers really are the worst sometimes. Showing up again like that without an announcement.
[It's a jab to lighten the mood just a little before she continues on.]
Do you consider it a second chance?
[An odd question. Does it count as a "second chance" if things between them have already drastically changed? Are there things to make up, regrets to voice, mistakes to fix?]
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Date: 2016-01-14 05:10 am (UTC)[Not to mention the events surrounding his death were pretty bad.] On the other hand? Like I said, it's been months. Trying to fill him in on that lost time still isn't easy. But maybe it's a second chance to make sure it doesn't happen again.
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Date: 2016-01-18 12:33 am (UTC)[ ...And now she's sounding old and sentimental. ]
What's he like?
[ A distraction in the form of a question. ]
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Date: 2016-01-18 05:30 pm (UTC)...he's great. He's a total nerd and sometimes he tells really lame jokes and he has this weird overfondness for cardigans but he's my best friend. It's been just the two of us and my aunt since I was really little, so I guess we're kinda close. ["Kinda" in that for a while Hiro was pretty much glued to Tadashi. Down the steps and off the bridge and to solid land they go.] He's actually the one who made Baymax. I made his armor but the original programming and body were all Tadashi's work. I think even you'd have a hard time being mean to him.
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Date: 2016-01-20 05:29 am (UTC)...So she's mean to pretty much everyone. Whatever. ]
Oh, so he's Baymallow's dad? Does that make you Baymallow's uncle?
[ But she feels this story, Baymax aside. "It's been just the two of us since I was really little." ]
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Date: 2016-01-20 05:49 pm (UTC)And don't let him hear you calling Baymax Baymallow. He might get insulted. [Which means by all means, please call him Baymallow to Tadashi's face.] It's a lot of work making sure he stays safe here now that he's got a second chance. Just gotta hope he thinks it's worth it.
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Date: 2016-01-22 08:23 am (UTC)...Does he think he doesn't deserve this chance to live again or something?
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Date: 2016-01-22 09:49 am (UTC)One of the first things he told me when I got here is that he wasn't supposed to be here. I don't know if he remembers saying that, but I didn't forget. You tell me.
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Date: 2016-01-23 09:23 am (UTC)...It's hard to say. We aren't your brother, after all. Maybe he thinks that death isn't something to be tampered with. Bringing someone back from the dead is similar to tampering with forces of nature.
[ Which is why it was both a relief and yet somewhat of a cause for concern when Dezel also arrived here. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-01-23 10:53 pm (UTC)zesty spoilers like whoa
Date: 2016-01-23 11:25 pm (UTC)[ The words roll off the tip of her tongue, weary yet practiced, but finally fully believed in. She hoists her umbrella to cover her face slightly. ]
A chance to redeem themselves [ Dezel, the human at the wind trial. ], to finally end their suffering [ Heldalf, Forton, Eizen. ], to save their pride [ Zaveid's companions. ], and so on. Who are we to take that from them? That's pretty arrogant.
[ ...That's only the rational part of her though (which is a large part of her, granted). ]
...But the selfish part of me says "no". And we're allowed to be a little selfish sometimes, aren't we?
[ The part of her that longs for those who are gone to come back. The part of her that is irrational and sensitive, no matter how much she hates it sometimes. Some deaths are simply unnecessary and meaningless, and she knows that. Others are incredibly necessary, including what she thinks will be her very own. ]
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Date: 2016-01-24 09:25 pm (UTC)It was a chance to help someone else, and that alone makes Hiro wish Tadashi had been a little selfish, too.]
In a way? I wish some people would be a little more selfish sometimes. You'd be surprised how being selfish could sometimes save a person. [They're back off the bridge and on solid ground now and he looks at her quietly, pondering all of that.] Don't let anybody convince you otherwise.
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Date: 2016-01-25 02:55 am (UTC)Preaching to the choir, here. If there's anyone you should tell that to, it's Sorey, not me.
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Date: 2016-01-25 07:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-01-26 04:12 am (UTC)[ She really will be. This little talk has somehow managed to help her sort her feelings out just a teensy bit, and she secretly hopes that it'll allow Hiro to sort his own feelings out a bit. Call it sympathy, empathy, projection, whatever. ]
I'm only going to say this once, so listen up.
[ Of course, she'll hide her face with her umbrella when she says it. ]
...Thanks.
[ For saving her life. For not leaving her to be consumed by the ghost of the past. For opening up to her, of all people.
As good a note to end on as any. ]